Forsaken

Sometimes I feel am just an onlooker on life… What I am missing terribly is a sense of belonging… I just don’t exist. That life is a beautiful shimmer far, far away from me, glittering in the distance; and that it would all vanish as soon as I thought I had it… This feeling is so strong that am afraid to reach out.

My voice is a fading whisper in the distant horizon that no one can hear. I am an outsider, an outcast, a banshee whose cries go unheard…

Unloved, unwanted and uncared for… I am sentenced to this condemned existence. And every time I am certain that I am breathing in the scents of this world like everyone else, I close my eyes so as to capture the moment… But when I open them again… Poof! All that I believe in vanishes. Life evanesces and reality dawns upon me: stark and harsh; and once again I find myself where I began from, on the outskirts of contentment, on the fringes of life so frail that they might break if I dare breathe…

Deserted. Estranged to a solitary confinement, that's who I am. Hail, the dead walks. But hark! The mind’s frozen, senses numbed, a hole where the heart should have been. Hollow and alone…

Sometimes I feel as if though am not capable of love, simply cannot love any other than myself. Only lust and greed.

On behalf of her love

She no longer sleeps

Life no longer had meaning

Nothing to make her stay...

She sold her soul away.