Decadence

The Devil pulls the strings which make us dance;

We find delight in the most loathsome things;

Some furtherance of Hell each new day brings,

And yet we feel no horror in that rank advance.

― Charles Baudelaire

Bleeding Spells

Today, I woke up with the voices in my head screaming for blood. The hunger within is frightening in its urgency. They tell me to hurt myself.

Self-Deception

This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to put down in black and white. Not only because I don’t know where to begin, but because inexorable guilt weighs heavy on my conscience. There is no way to gild the lily on this, so I guess I won’t even try.

Slit Wrist Theory

Ever put the blade to your skin? I have. It’s nothing glamorous. Takes a huge amount of courage just to raise it in your hand and bring it down close to the veins. The sheer willpower that it takes to graze your skin with it and the lunatic desperation to pierce deep will intimidate any weakling.

Letting go...

It happens every now and then... Thinking of you, my mind flashes back to when we were together... I remember, the not so distant past when one day you looked into my eyes while I was lying in your arms, and whispered the words in my ear, which I had so many times before took for granted… And I believed you.